It’s a nice day and I am avoiding again.

I did some of the cleaning and had to get out for a bit. I didn’t leave it all. It looks a little better. I’m not wasting the nice weather. I know that I’m naturally pale unable to tan but I can at least make an effort. I’m not walking as far as yesterday (I still ache around my back and feet), I only have one hour until I have to be outside and I presume that the resident neighbourhood cat will follow me in again due to the fact that he is lingering outside. I finish off things I haven’t done yet and let him have some food while I pop back in and out of home. I still haven’t done my degree module TMA. I keep avoiding at the moment. I only just got a decent sleep pattern. I can’t avoid everything at home by going for long walk or sleep. It just puts all the stuff that I don’t particularly want to do for tomorrow which doesn’t help me feel better about it.

I’m having issues with my brain working enough to do academic work at the moment. I don’t know why but I’ve been exhausted due to lack of sleep for ages. I managed to wing it on my last one and this one is shorter and easier so I could use the same tactic on the next one. I’m slightly worried that I haven’t felt right since I had the vaccine because I have had the one that’s been in the news. It’s fine for hose that are older to not be worried but they aren’t the age that have died of blood clots since having it. On the day of the vaccine I was having bad feelings about it. This hadn’t come out at that point. They’re saying don’t be concerned but those that have died after having it could not be the only ones it’s doing to happen to. Many will think that this is a risky experiment. Apologising to those that have been affected is too late. The damage done to those that died after having it can’t be reversed. There is a reason why vaccines normally take many years to produce. I already have autism so it can’t give me that. Maybe it will make me normal? I have become a bit more normal since receiving it. I started using emoticons and everything ‘cool’ online.


I decided to go for a walk because I needed a few bits that I stupidly forgot on the way around yesterday. I’m warm in my thick coat but it’s colder than I thought when I walked out my door. I only went around the block tonight. I don’t feel the cold but realise how ice cold I feel when I get home. I have gloves which I can use with my phone screen. I just don’t wear them. I don’t like the feel of gloves on my hands.

I have my vaccination booked for the end of this week. I have had my invitation because I’m in the extremely vulnerable category. I’m taking my mother with me only because she also had a letter due to her age group. I’m not going to say that age specifically otherwise I may get in trouble. We may as well get vaccinated on the same day as then we are both done… well we will have had our first. We have to go back for the second dose in may.