I have to be up tomorrow so totally decided to be lazy and spend most of the day in bed. I have things to do but I can do that while waiting for a phone call from 8 am in the morning. I am getting down about my weight. The scale is decreasing but the… Read More Lazy day. Switched off completely.

Inflated sense of ego was thrown in my face. This is why I have that facade now. I have put up with endless disrespect for many years. I get ignored and treated differently when people discover I am autistic. I have to fight for basic needs in life like health care and the only reason… Read More The level of disrespect over the years is why I am this now.

I would also appreciate it if ’friends’ don’t use my past to justify the nasty things that they say to me. That is pretty low and shows that they suck as a person. Telling me that if I had settled down with them instead of going off with people who didn’t want me then I… Read More Using my past against me to prove a point is also low.

I woke up to a message saying that my personality was awful this morning. I had to survive the most awful things. That was always on my own. I never saw any of the friends saying my personality sucks around at those times. I have only ever loved people and had it thrown back in… Read More I do not have a horrible personality either.

I know that I am not the most attractive woman. That was made clear to me at school from bullies who said I had an alright body but it was a shame about the face. I was just told that I am a 4. I am going to become a 10. Once I get to… Read More I hate the way so called friends talk to me. I deserve more than this!

I will start off with my good news. I got my letter through for my ultrasound appointment today. I have to go for it next month. I thought that I would have to wait longer than that given what the GP told me on the phone last month. Now, on to todays topic. I have… Read More Why can’t others be this way?

I did get to the gym today after telling my mum I wasn’t coming over for dinner (not got enough calorie allowance left since last nights stuffing session). I have taken myself down on the weights and doing more reps. Apparently this helps not make hormonal issues worse. I obviously have upset hormones otherwise monthly… Read More I had to change a few things.

The whole process of trying to keep to a certain amount of calories (more than I naturally eat) to burn body fat and keep muscle is challenging in itself. I got up really late today. I had to fit in a lot of food not spread out which got quite uncomfortable. It was all healthy.… Read More I have to do this but it is quite difficult.

I haven’t even bothered to get dressed. I am tired from walking every day this week. I just can’t right now. I got up to have breakfast but dropped off to sleep with the cats. The weather was raining for quite a while which made me want to stay asleep. I do have quite a… Read More No to today … too tired for it.

I am doing fairly well coming off antidepressants. I have had slight withdrawal effects but they’re fairly normal. The brain zaps have started to get less apparent since my body has got used to the levels of medication going down. I have felt quite irritated but life does that with or without medication. The fact… Read More I’m fine … why do people assume that I am mentally ill when I ’take control’ of my life?