One thing that hurts me the most.

There is one thing that hurts me the most. I’m not perfect. I certainly wasn’t in my past. I hate the lack of sympathy that others have for those of us that had their child/ren to adoption via court order (informally known as forced adoption). The attitudes of people toward us is absolutely awful. We were not bad parents. Many of us were barely given a chance to adjust into a role we had never had previously. I was constantly bullied by child protection team who basically tricked me from the start to sign over my historical records to justify a plan in the first place. I was naive at that age. I believed that those of us identified as vulnerable adults got referred to children’s services for help and support with parenting etc. That is complete nonsense. They try to push us to fail from the very beginning. I have to live a life sentence in the form of my son’s adoption. There’s not even letterbox contact allowed because I fought the adoption. That is unfair. I did not deserve to lose my son to adoption. I never even did anything to justify them doing that to me. I know that others don’t believes me. The tests proved he wasn’t hurt. He was a well cared for happy baby. I wasn’t able to be perfect because I’d never had a child before. I made mistakes but I was tired and the child protection team was never off my back due to the malicious reporting going on behind the scenes that I never knew about until he was in care. I was also tricked into signing a section 20 to put him into care. They told me that the police would be at the hospital if I didn’t sign it when we went to pick him up. I later find out flipping through the notes that the police were satisfied that no danger and the section 47 investigation of risk to child did not meet the threshold for them to intervene. They were satisfied that no act had been committed to pose a significant risk to said child. They basically used bits of my past and autism (generic autism not the specific traits that I had), tried to say I had other mental health conditions which I later got confirmed by the adults mental health psychiatrist wasn’t anything I had wrong with me. The only information that got put into that court to get the care order and placement was the historical bits, dissecting the negative parts of autism in general, their psychiatric report findings and every note from contacts that were remotely negative. The stuff that was positive and supported my case got ‘lost’ before it got put into the final court bundles. I had nothing to fight with after that evidence got conveniently lost. The same stories, not quite identical but very similar have come out over the years happening to people that were in the system as children or young adults. There will always be those people that go on about parents not being honest about what they did for their children to be taken for adoption. There are those parents that did stuff to deserve that outcome. I’m not one of them. I am always honest even if I know I’m going to look bad. I had my honesty and naivety used against me. I’m telling the truth and I wish that others would believe me.

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