It’s hard being hated it just disliked in general.

I’m going to allow myself to be vulnerable here to explain how this works. I don’t like feeling hated or disliked. It doesn’t help that my thoughts amplify that hate / dislike. I have had so many bad things told to me by my own head the past few months since someone I actually really did like (it’s rare nowadays) told me I had upset them and they didn’t want to speak to me or see me in any capacity again. I’m now hurting over and over again because thoughts repeat. I have rejection trauma from my past. When I say my brain has been torturing me ever since that isn’t an understatement. That’s how it works. That is why I resorted to asking for sleeping tablets from GP because there is nothing worse than your mind torturing you constantly. It is absolute hell. It was such a small exchange that has started my mind trying to convince me that I’m an awful person, they hate me, they think I’m a freak or something else awful. That is been the nightmare I’ve had to deal with since January and even in December when I felt ignored then said all those harsh things I was still affected by the rejection trauma. I just want things to be ok but my head is saying that they hate me, I scare them, they see me as a freak etc.

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