Just walking… I don’t know how far … I will go home when my brain shuts up.

I don’t know how many steps I will end up doing but my brain won’t shut up until I physically wear it out. I know it’s late. I may as well make the most of being able to walk because I can feel my monthly building up to the worse part of it. It helps when I haven’t eaten because it has no internal energy source to go into heavy mode. I’m upset and can’t hide it any longer. I hid it for months. I can only do it for so long. I know I shouldn’t place my value on people who decide they don’t like me for whatever reason but I do because I see it as where I need to improve. I’m a perfectionist… everything I do is meticulously planned and executed. Unless it is done in melt down mode which is how everything occurred in the first place. Town has turned into its other mode because it’s getting late so I’ve had to dodge drunks and boy racers so far on my walk. I wouldn’t give a crap if they knocked me over right now but the cats would if I didn’t come home and they didn’t get their food.

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