Functioning completely at the lowest level now.

I’m the kind of person who can successfully do life on a limited number of hours sleep but it’s gone lower than my threshold over a long period of time at this point. I haven’t eaten today because I literally don’t even feel hunger at this point when my functioning gets this low. I’ve not had this since I had my painkiller addiction many years ago and I managed to mask lower functioning issues with them. I cannot go back there. I fully beat that battle and now can take them rather than needing them as a mental crutch. I know what’s keeping me awake and I hate myself for being so damn sensitive. I even forgot to pay at the self check out earlier. I was lucky that the assistant stopped me before I walked out because I could have got accused of shop lifting. I’ve never done anything like that before. I can barely function enough to get up until really late. I barely get stuff done. I need my brain to work at full capacity to be able to do the stuff I’m currently doing in the background. I am the one who sees small details and it gets stuff done etc. I am useless without that part of me being able to work.

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