Difficult today :(

I do have some stuff today but still feeling emotionally drained and physically very tired. I need to rest but can’t not do the things I have to do. That is what it’s like living alone. There’s no one else to do little bits when you need to step out for a while. I do have topics I want to cover this mental health week. I will just find it not easy to do with barely any energy to even function doing life stuff. I’m drained from other peoples behaviour. That’s not going to change because they’ve got no intention of speaking to me to make things right again. There’s no scenario possible where the conversation wouldn’t be too difficult. I also feel the mental barrier / wall someone has put up towards me. That can also be mentally draining for a naturally intuitive person. It pulls at them energetically which causes negative impacts on them. I don’t know if they’re doing this to me intentionally on purpose because I don’t know them well enough. I have always felt ego driven personality when it comes to them. As I’ve previously said, I don’t like arrogance in others but it may not be that straightforward when you know a person better. I do care. The only problem is that they don’t care how it’s ripped me apart. I know I’m sensitive and need to grow a thicker skin but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m quite open about how stuff affects me day to day on here. They are showing how much they truly don’t give a crap about how I feel or what circumstances have done to me. If they did then I’d at least have got a message even if they didn’t feel comfortable approaching me face to face. I’m not well a lot at the minute. I don’t need my intuitive side draining me. It’s harder to bounce back physically when mentally and emotionally that side is being drained by stuff not in my control. I’ve always used mental strength to get through times when I’ve got to a certain point of tiredness. I don’t have that side of me to use right now because of being mentally drained by stuff that happened involving someone else.


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