Sometimes the dreams we had when younger is no longer possible.

I’ve had to have a few days break from even just walking. I realised today that I have to be happy with not achieving the things I wanted to do as a child when I grew up. Physically I am being affected by stuff a lot worse than previously in my life. I never really used to get pain with the parts of me that got inflamed. That has recently just started to happen. I was pushing myself physically to try to lose weight so I might be a lot better after a few weeks rest. Sometimes when I don’t move much these issues get worse. The balance is hard to find where I have kept the pain away moving just enough or bringing the pain on by doing too much. I’m always too tired to do things. I’m still in bed quite late because I’m just so tired and in pain. Even if I wanted to do stuff now that I’m free from the mental health clause after 15 years of my life, the irony is that I probably can’t sue to physical health problems now. It sucks but I’m beginning to accept the peaceful life that I have without wanting more.

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