I woke up at dinner time thinking I couldn’t get through the day. I felt that the entire night too and literally it kept me awake. The whole moving away thing hasn’t been finalised yet and the place in fife had no viewings available right now when I enquired. I’m not sure I could stand the Scottish accent. They would at least be able to naturally spell my surname because it’s the Scottish spelling due to my dads family descending from there generations ago. I don’t think I have any choice but to leave. I try to convince others that I’m not a horrible person. I haven’t smack talked about anyone on here since I read their history on a website the other night. I am honest. I genuinely got it wrong. I genuinely don’t want things to stay as they are either. I am affected by things that other people do… I can’t not say anything. I just want peace. I can’t have that when I feel others are looking at me as someone to be afraid of… I’m not a scary person. I don’t have a malicious part of me. I may have done so in the past but trauma knocked that right out of me. It makes it worse when I know many wrong uns around here getting trusted and treated well. They aren’t to be trusted, they are complete scum from way back as far as I remember them. Anyway, I managed to get stuff done around my flat, pick up my medication and now I’m at the gym. I can’t make phone calls / receive phone calls or go online when I’m not on Wi-Fi right now due to a local mast being down. I don’t have a landline anymore so technically I have no way to make a phone call tonight. I’m hoping it doesn’t take the network too long to fix it.