Women seem to hate me but they never say the reason.

I heard from a therapist friend that if you don’t get on with your mother then all other females will just naturally hate you. That makes total sense. I realised fully why living at mums for support with my newborn baby didn’t work out today. I absorbed way too much of her influence growing up and now other women hate me. She has no friends either at this point of her life. I have friends but the only ones I can keep are the opposite sex. I know why I manage to keep them… the way I look. Some of them hope that one day I let my guard down and they can become more or be allowed to touch me. Women cannot be direct with each other without a be or both getting offended or upset. Even those of us that are brutally direct get upset by the way other women are toward us. We really need to sort out that part of our generational socialisation. We are more sensitive than men. I blame hormones. They naturally go up and down especially at certain points of our life. It has been like that for me the whole of my life because I get a bad attitude before my monthly starts… 2 weeks before don’t start anything with me because I can do brutal honesty to a precise art form. I will grab hold of things and pull / push so hard no one ever forgets what I say. I wish they did though because I want others to give me another chance. I would like other women to actually get on with me. If I stay on my antidepressants I can keep myself at a tolerable level for others. I can hold in my lesbian tendencies and fake a whole relationship with the opposite sex (hope ‘he’ is too busy to read this part, as I said before private life is a no go area on here). There is no way that the family I come from would accept me being with a woman. They’re all a bit more old fashioned and go by the way of life that is taught by religion. That is probably another reason why other women don’t like me. They assume that I’m looking at them in that way… nope, we aren’t like men. That isn’t something that I would ever personally do. I’m not the same person as my past so you can forget using that as a reason to distrust me and think I’m some kind of threat. I wish that other women were kinder because quite frankly they make me feel like shit. Then when I say how I feel they cut me off. That is why I said above that we need to revise how we interact with each other. I’m not a bitch. I’m normally the one getting bullied by other women. They are so nasty to me etc. I’m trying to be the peacemaker and all they want to do is fight each other and me.

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