Late night thoughts… I know the risks.

I’m going to bed early tonight so this is technically late night thoughts for me. I’ve had a very long day. I just want my bed after a bath. I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday, it feels like I’ve used up my entire energy store for the week. I’ve looked up the potential affects that I could face if I decide not to ever go back on the iron tablets. I understand the risks. I also would like to point out that if I take them or any kind of stuff to top up my iron stores it comes out the other end in the form of clots when I’m on my monthly. There is only so much that medication I have to stop it can do. It can’t stop it with the excess iron. It works when I don’t take the iron, this month it didn’t really work to stop the clots though. The last time I was on them (excuse the graphic description here) I literally had to take out a massive clot that had built up inside me to stop a huge mess occurring when I was out. I’m getting the physical effects like dry skin and my hair is dry / brittle. I’ve lost eyelashes and bits of my eyebrow. I eat better than I ever have previously because I completely changed my diet to lose a few stone. I’m tired a lot but somehow have learnt to just do stuff while tired. It isn’t nice. It’s downright miserable. I am stressed emotionally. I feel things even if people don’t talk to me due to being naturally intuitive. That doesn’t help my health problems. People don’t care so whatever upset their actions are causing me it isn’t something they’ll ever fix. Even if you open up to people about your life they still walk away. That is how it is… anyway, this decision is going to cause me issues either way. I can’t win with whatever route I chose. It’s important that I make a decision asap because on the system my levels have come back as below borderline this time. They weren’t even below borderline when I first got told I had anemia. They’ve tagged it on the results as abnormal. The readings are also lower (learned how to read them after so many anemia blood tests).