I’m sorry but there is a reason I am the way I am.

I feel that I can say more now that I’m off the mental health clause. I know that sometimes I get on others nerves because of aspects of my personality. I’m honestly not a spoilt brat or anything. I was treated like I was the equivalent of nothing growing up at school and by bits of my family. That made me decide to never allow that again as an adult. I can be really sweet until I feel disrespected. Then I let my personality disorder side take over. I have more control over that side now but it still seeps out sometimes. People owning their own homes, getting twice the amount of money than I ever will on benefits, having close families and children could have been me if I had been allowed a better start. If I had been given the right support rather than negative labelling and put through a load of trauma then I could have had all that. I try to not let that get to me but it shows sometimes. I always felt that I could have had a better life if I hadn’t have had that negative labelling around my disability issues. It’s so cruel to do that to someone who really only wanted to feel loved. That has been all I’ve ever wanted to feel my entire life. I never wanted any of the hate that I got directed at me. I still don’t but others walk away and never come back when I let my anger / bitterness surface. It’s something I try not to do but it can be frustrating not to have the life I could have had if my circumstances had been different.

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