Things I forgot to add to last post…

I have a really bad memory every time I have a migraine. I meant to add these things to my previous post. I have lost more weight. I’m now 60.2kg / 132 lbs / 9 stone 4. Another thing that I forgot yesterday was the importance of checking the water and oil in your car. I left it a few months. I only checked due to the engine sounding a bit tinny / revving a little too much. I had a tiny speck of oil left on the dip stick and had to put 2 kettles worth of water in until the water got to the top of the window screen wash tube. That could have blown up my engine within a matter of hours with how low it was at that point. The engine now sounds ok. It was fine in December when it went for its mot. I’m sure that I checked it a few months ago and the levels were ok. I would have blown up my car to a state of not being repairable. Once the engine of a car blows up the car is a write off. I didn’t check under the bonnet enough so it would be my fault and insurance wouldn’t pay out. Then, back to tonight’s post earlier. I never thought that I could be not overweight, slim etc if I went back on medication (antidepressants)… that is my reality now. It’s important never to stop believing that things can get better. You can eventually have your dream life but you have to keep making an effort to build it. Small steps is a lot easier than throwing yourself in at the deep end. Sometimes you even surprise yourself. I did. I started my life kicked out of school, sectioned (later living in a home for people with forms of autism) labelled a criminal (due to how my disability affected me) and left on that aftercare section for many years… with very little hope for any kind of positive future. It’s true that you do have to fake it, making your brain think differently etc, before you actually make it in reality. It may feel like you just won’t get there but I promise you that your head is lying to you… it can take years but you will get there. If you don’t let others get in your head that is a good thing. I still need to work on that. I need to move my car now before I get in the way of boy racers using the supermarket carpark as a race track.

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