I’m beyond tired.

I didn’t sleep last night again. Sleep pattern is such a mess. I haven’t made phone calls yet. I kind of go quiet verbally when I get tired. That makes phone calls extremely difficult. I will try to push myself to do them by the end of the day. They are important. I have to be up on Thursday, Friday and Saturday due to stuff I have on. I’m at the point of tiredness where it’s uncomfortable. I still feel kind of upset about how I’m never good enough for certain people. That they always use the professional boundaries thing as an excuse to be cold and unfriendly to me. I’m a person with feelings regardless how someone else met me. That attitude from others ripped away all my self confidence and caused inner damage. At the end of the day, that professional boundaries thing is an excuse when someone thinks they’re too good to associate with someone they see as lower status than them. I work hard. This blog has visitors from all over the world. I’m committed to everything that I do regardless of how challenging the whole autism awareness/acceptance month can be on both a personal and professional level. Arguments always happen over stuff because the autism community can’t agree on certain things. I won’t be dragged into them. It’s a difficult month for me on a personal level because of it being my son’s birthday so I keep away from all that. I’m just too tired as I get older and I’m not going to use the energy I need to function to argue about aspects of autistic life with others. I’m in pain with my knee kicking off which makes it harder to sleep.