I’m still awake at a stupid hour which isn’t unusual. I have felt off mentally since this evening. I don’t even feel sad now. I just feel numb and zoned out. I have no interest in the outside world at all right now. I’m broken from many things that have gone on both recently and in the past. I don’t even feel myself at the moment. I’m so far not in my own head … not even thinking stuff because I’ve not had enough sleep for a prolonged period of time. I’m too emotionally exhausted because of stuff I have to live with due to life circumstances. I’ve fought for a long time. There is only so much strength I can pull together to function on a daily basis. I can’t do that right now. I really held tightly to the things psychics said about my son coming back into my life when he was 10. I pushed myself very hard to keep going hoping that it was the truth. I had nothing else to cling into. It was the only way I could get through the days. I’ve lost that hope again now his tenth year has passed. I’m lost and the fact that I’m tired doesn’t help me feel any better.