I’m awake again at a stupid hours, somehow the truth I found out makes it worse.

I feel worse about it now I know what’s been said behind my back. I’m always excluded and talked about negatively. I don’t like it but people won’t quit doing it. The apology I gave should have been enough. Nope, what I said will be held against me forever. That isn’t fair. I was just being honest. The way I was being treated then wasn’t even right… so I laid it on. I’m sorry but that is my BPD side. I don’t do it on purpose. I do it when I feel I’m being rejected. I don’t want to be seen as bad because I said something. It won’t stop keeping me awake until it’s fixed. It’s doing my head in.