I managed to get up at a decent hour but today has been strange.

I managed to drag myself out of bed at a decent hour to reset my sleep pattern. Today started off quite strange. I would like non-believers to explain this one. I woke up with the song magic by Coldplay in my head. Then I brought up TikTok to check notifications. A video featuring Paula Yates came up on the fyp thing. I looked her up because I couldn’t remember who she actually was but the name sounded familiar. I recognised one of her children’s names due to being into music (she was a music reviewer or something and also one of Bob Geldoff’s children), Peaches. The song I had in my head was apparently one of her favourites at the time she passed away. I clicked on more information. It is literally the anniversary of her death, she passed on 6th April 2014. Ironically, that was also the year that my son’s adoption went through. Non-believers who think I’m crazy explain the sequence of events when I woke up. The date being the anniversary of her death and the song in my head when I woke up cannot possibly be a coincidence. I didn’t even know that woman was her mum because she passed years ago before I really was keeping up with celebrity stuff as I was only young.

I managed to get my medication. It was literally quicker walking down from where I live today because there are 3 way traffic lights as you enter our town centre. The queues were huge when I walked passed there. I went for a little walk while the weather wasn’t raining but I think it’s going to do it again in a while, there is a black cloud coming over. I also have a feeling that really bugs me. If I’m such a unique person who has gifts then how am I so easy to discard or walk away from? So easy to reject? It makes no sense. If I have such a huge heart full of love that I offer to even strangers then why do I get treated in this way? What is the point in staying a good honest person if no one appreciates that? I may as well be selfish and all about myself. It’s not paying off being the other way because people just use, abuse or ditch me.

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