I just want a peaceful life!

I’m not who I used to be. I didn’t used to mind the drama and endless conflicts between myself and others. I used to thrive off of it (the narcissistic streak in me was strong back then). I’m too old and mature for that crap now. I’m honest, direct and can’t not say something if I feel it needs to be said. I know that others don’t like that. I am who I am though. I can’t be fake… that seems to be what people want in this world. I just want to live without conflict and have a peaceful life. That seems to not happen when you’re neurodivergent. I just don’t care for arguments, being at loggerheads with anyone else. I hate conflict. It causes me a lot of stress. Then I don’t sleep. How is causing me stress and making me lose sleep fair on me? I don’t like it. I don’t want it. I just want to get on with everyone. I don’t want conflict with anyone. I’m not a bad person. I just don’t like feeling bullied or singled out by anybody else. I don’t think that is fair. I grew up here. It has always been like this, groups against each other or people just wanting to be in conflict with one another… they find it entertaining or something. I’m not like those that I grew up with anymore. I don’t like the bitching and the division. I just want peace and to fix things long term with others for the sake of getting that peace so that I can sleep properly again.

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