I did it…

I was extremely tired when I got back yesterday. I had my dinner when I got home at midnight and then fell asleep as soon as I got into bed. I don’t know if I have properly reset my sleep pattern but that is the first time I’ve slept in weeks during the night. That is at least an achievement in itself. I woke up with knee ache so I don’t think it likes going for a walk in little heal boots yesterday. It was a one off but I normally walk in my trainers. I had my boots on for the meeting yesterday. I must have hardened feet from the epic walking sessions that I do. They rubbed on me (not previously worn them) but by this morning my feet no longer feel sore. It probably helps that I’m more muscle than fleshy now. There’s less bulk around parts of me to catch on stuff. I don’t have feet ache at all from them rubbing the day after. It’s surprising how getting fitter can help get over things quite easily. It makes you mentally harder too. The way I’m able to totally snap out of being hurt emotionally so easily is not like I used to be. I don’t need anyone anymore. The whole codependency thing has disappeared. I’ve only been really doing this properly since January. I only recently started trying to do the gym more times per week. I’ve had to build everything up… you can’t just do certain things. I couldn’t walk up to 15 miles in one session (my walking record I completed recently) without building up to that level. There is no way that someone would be able to walk that amount of steps (35,000) in one walk without building up number of steps over many months, in my case that has taken many years. If you tried to do that straight off you would either not be able to finish it or if you did happen to do it then the next day you would feel your legs go heavy etc and the aches would be brutal. That is what I had as I built up to walking further and further especially before I actually got fitter. I suffered so much when I was 3 stone heavier. I wasn’t fit. I had sunk into the pattern of drinking alcohol during the pandemic like a lot of other people. I have really had to limit the alcohol to start seeing recent progress with losing body fat and growing muscle. I’m really not that into alcohol anymore since starting antidepressants and the anti inflammatory medication for my finger issue suppresses my appetite so I can only eat small amounts in comparison to what I am used to. I still occasionally get the metallic taste thing which make’s everything taste a little wrong but that has mostly worn off. I am still very tired and it’s only 6 am so I’m going to try to get a few more hours sleep because I still feel tired and only slept probably 3 to 4 hours after falling asleep late and waking up quite early.

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