Resting today, in pain :(

I have aches from my last gym session today. I was asleep until the heavy hail woke me up. It was quite loud for someone who has sensitive hearing (any noise will wake me up). Luckily, we have never had hail the size of golf balls since 2012, which I remember very well because I was at the contact centre with my son. It was so loud on the roof (it was like corrugated plastic) that we had to get out of the room. One of the contact workers window screens got smashed. Mums car got damaged on her driveway. The cars had round marks in their paintwork even if they didn’t get properly damaged. That day I was quite lucky in regard to my car. I had parked it under a tree in their car park so mine was barely marked due to the tree covering it. I never normally parked that side of the car park but only did this particular day because it was quite full. Looking around at the metal work of the other cars parked in there it seemed to have been circumstances that worked in my favour. I only had two or three dents in my paint work. Anyway, back to today. I managed to get some sleep… mister joined me sprawled out on the pillow next to me. The other cat was on the bed too earlier but she has decided she wanted to go snooze on the sofa earlier. That one likes her alone time. Mister is like a constant shadow though. He just spends most of his time with me like he owns me or something. He’s got up now so I’m going to probably get nagged for food soon. They do have dry food left down but they prefer wet food. I just picked an ear scab. They are really annoying me at the moment. I know that picking them probably doesn’t help but I’m now in the habit of not leaving them alone. I’m sure that if I didn’t mess with them by picking the scabs off then they would probably heal. That takes patience which is hard to have when picking it off temporarily gets everything off for a while. I’m not a patient person in general. I’m not someone who thinks about things long before taking action. I actually can’t stand it when someone takes time to make a decision. I am also afraid to make the wrong decisions but I don’t let myself think about options too long otherwise I end up talking myself out of stuff. I can’t do that. I will never end up going forward in life if I allowed myself to deep think stuff weighing up the pros and cons. Life is short. Yes, not every decision that pops into your head is a good idea but life is for living. I sat around way too long just existing and realise I r lost many chances I could have taken when I was younger. I’m stuck in certain aspects of life now. I’m not going to get opportunities coming my way at 35 because I’m starting to look older etc. I lack confidence after stuff that happened to me. That makes me scared to change aspects of my life, even the bits I don’t like. I can at least feel safe and grounded within what I know and my normal routine. I’ve accepted my fate basically so I can be happy with what I do have in life at this point. I’m too tired to really do much at the moment. I’m sleeping during the day when I don’t have plans because I literally have no ability to sleep at night now. That will hopefully change… hope in that department is all I really have … I hope it passes with time. I’ve had this before and it has worked it’s way out of my pattern.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: