I shouldn’t have to be the only one that takes responsibility here.

I’m stubborn enough not to let stuff bother me to the point of feeling paralysed by it so I can’t function. That is how it used to be. I still don’t think that it is fair that I’m the one taking all the responsibility by apologising to the other person. They hurt me too and haven’t bothered to apologise to me. If they hadn’t been cold etc toward me then I wouldn’t have said the things I said. It’s kept me awake. I think a lot at night and that is when it hurts the most. I can distract myself during the day by doing stuff. I genuinely cared about the other person which is why it hurts me. I can’t always control my autism but now I’m back on antidepressants again I’m more in control. I have made a lot of progress since we haven’t spoken and that has only been a month ish. I was struggling and it got in the way of interacting with the other person.