I’m not even sure what is day or night anymore.

I have a completely messed up sleep pattern at this point. I am quite sure that my body no longer knows whether it’s day or night. I have really scabby skin and my hair looks limp and no longer as thick as it used to be. I’m so fed up with this ongoing struggle. The government announced that it’s pushing people back into work who are disabled yesterday. I will never be able to function this way. I’m not even sure I am able enough … I see no abilities or skills in myself. I was always taught that I had none and that I was born disabled mentally so I just had to basically just exist on the handouts I was given. They never expect care leavers (adult residential home for autistic people) to go on to do anything worth while or be something in life. It got drilled into us. I got a message from another autistic person who is worried about the government’s announcement yesterday. I hadn’t actually officially heard the budget announcements. Most of the conversations amongst people on social networks was budget related yesterday evening. The topic of autistic people being unable to sleep also came up. We all agreed that if others didn’t treat us in certain ways that would not be an issue for us. I’m not saying that to have a dig at anyone who may read this post. It is a fact. I know that my sleep pattern would go back to normal if someone else decided to clear things up which happened between us and we were on speaking terms again. That will probably never happen so I’m stuck like this for however long what happened affects me. That could be anything from a few months to a few years with the way my mind holds onto stuff. I know it’s difficult for everyone at the moment. I don’t want to add to anyone’s issues but when I can’t sleep because of something that causes me issues.


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