I just can’t right now.

I’m absolutely exhausted today. I can’t even persuade myself to go out my home today. I need to rest because I can barely stay awake. In total I probably walked nearly 50 miles this week and done a gym session this week. I deserve a rest but I don’t want to have one. I hate being still. I have to be still today because I’m literally too tired to even move around my flat right now. I still have no idea what I actually want to do with my life. I don’t even want to be part of anything right now. I get tired every time I put effort into anything. I can’t be in a relationship when I’m this tired. I won’t give enough to it. I’m also too tired to do having more children for the time being. I think it’s best to stay single and not change anything. I’m burnt out and I shouldn’t even have laid on the exercise while already in that mode. It’s now biting me and my weight is still refusing to go back down even after all that effort. It’s pinged up a few pounds but I can feel that I’ve filled up with water so hopefully it’s a temporary thing caused by hormones which will disappear when monthly happens. I’m annoyed because I’ve basically cut alcohol from my diet and I don’t see much difference. The weight still sticks on me. I can eat low calories most of the time and it’s still refusing to go down. I know that it could be muscle but as I lose body fat it should still go down. I still can’t grow my grow my eyelashes back properly. It still has a dent in it where it refuses to grow back. I don’t want to be this way anymore. I try to fight it and it makes sure I suffer.