This bugs me.

I have probably woken up irritable because I only had two hours ish sleep. However, I am bugged at the fact that everyone says I’m a pleasant nice person but those that I like still don’t like me… well obviously if you liked someone or had any respect for them you wouldn’t treat them as they have treated me. I put lots of effort in. I was nice most of the time until I felt ignored. Even then, I wasn’t being nasty, only brutally honest. If the truth hurt then maybe they should take the feedback as pointing out stuff they need to work on. I’m fed up with being described as nice. It seems that nice people get discarded by others they like more than two faced mean people. They know how to play the social game. I just want to be an authentic real person. I know that sometimes if people do develop feelings that they know they shouldn’t have then they cut things and run. I caught feelings but if you don’t act on them they’re harmless. If they cared though they wouldn’t do this to me. I couldn’t do it to someone I cared about… admittedly I don’t care about a lot of people because how trauma has left me guarded etc. I’m not even sure if I cared about them. I liked them but if I cared I probably would have not been brutally honest to not hurt their feelings but if they planned to use an excuse to cut communication anyway it doesn’t matter. It’s really affecting my sleep and it would help if things got sorted out between us.

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