Sleep pattern a mess but working around it.

I’m very tired and my sleep pattern can only be described as a disaster right now. However, I’m still trying to work around it. I got up late, did a few bits and went for a long stroll after getting a few bits from the local shops (22,000 ish steps). I didn’t really get cold with a large coat on and my hormones giving me an internal heating system (a week leading up to monthly is quite rough physically). Then there’s me mentally trying to forget stuff in my life, like in regard to other people. While I’m on the subject of other people, I am going to be doing an email clear out tonight (lots built up again so may have missed stuff) and will reply if I haven’t seen an email …this goes for both my email addresses. In other respects on the subject of people, I’m trying to not wait on anyone changing their mind because it’s never happened in the past. I know everyone is different and even I’m more tolerable than I used to be but I’m not going to hold out any hope. It’s not a good thing to do. I hope that certain people forgive me and speak to me again but at the same time there is no way of ‘making’ that happen. Also, the most crazy thoughts cross my mind that I hope is anxiety rather than intuition. I have seen all the stories in the news where autism and mental health was a factor in individuals doing terrible things. What if one day the preventative approach to this became rounding us all up with similar diagnoses and putting us in things like detention camps? I know it sounds crazy and far fetched but 5 years ago we would have thought the pandemic that kicked off globally and everything having to shut down would never be a reality. I didn’t pick up the details of what was going to happen but some intuitive people actually did but thought to themselves that can’t possibly happen in reality. You always have to be prepared for everything. I have loosely even thought about buying a nuclear resistant suite just in case russia send a nuke our way. Carry it with me and if we get attacked put it on and get inside as soon as possible. Windows break so inside would have to be underground to get away from fallout. Aside from that on a more down to Earth reality way, my intuition is telling me to renew my passport. Then if the shit does hit the fan in this country in any way I can escape. I’m sure as hell not being rounded up as a preventative strategy and sent to live in a camp or even a prison. I’m hoping that won’t happen but my intuition must be telling me to renew my passport for an important reason.

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