There is a reason I’m walking miles every single day.

When I’m not happy and frustrated I walk a lot. The person I really like won’t even speak to me and I can’t make them. I know we can’t be together which is why I’m looking at other options. It just continues to hurt me and leave me frustrated that they won’t even talk to me and how they treated me hurts (I’m overly sensitive so no one else gets it when I try to explain how it affects me). I just look like a fool and I can’t let my brain think… it has to be busy all the time so I don’t follow my heart. I used to tell everyone to follow their heart but now I’m older I advise people to use logic. I’m making a logical decision in love not following my heart and hoping that I grow to like that person despite knowing I don’t even swing that way. In the past I got into a lot of trouble following my heart so I said I would never do it ever again. I’m prepared to potentially live a lie so that I can at least have more children. That will make the lie easier to live because I want another child and it certain plans can lead to that then it’s something positive.