I had to sleep in today.

I woke up early but went back to sleep because I can’t do the whole waking up early every single day thing without having to go bed early in the evening. I can feel my knee and finger playing up today. I wanted to go the gym but now I’m not sure. I have a lot of stuff around my flat to sort out because I got tired and left it yesterday. I swear that my intuition is doing wishful thinking but I can’t shake certain feelings when it comes to someone else. They cut me off so it makes no sense that they like me. They couldn’t have treated me the way they did if they respected me as a person in any kind of way. I was mean to them because I liked them but that is the way my brain works. Maybe they have a messed up brain too. I don’t know them well enough to know that. I’m over the initial hurt of them telling me they didn’t want to talk to me anymore but I’m still thinking about it in the back of my head. There’s something about it that bugs me. We got off on the wrong foot (kind of a funny expression when you consider how we met) and it was a misunderstanding because I know how I say things. I was miserable at the time when I first started talking to them. I was hiding that coming off antidepressants was making me a bitter upset down kind of person. That isn’t who I normally am. I’m now back on antidepressants and no longer like that. I want another chance but I don’t want to email them because they were so adamant about what they wanted in the last email. I don’t want to restart a connection if they’re only going to be cold and emotionally disconnected again. Why would my intuition say they liked me when I’m the physical world they’ve acted the opposite? It doesn’t make any sense.

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