I’m done for the rest of the day… at least I’ve proven one thing…

I apologise if this isn’t very well written. I’m already in bed because I’m worn out. I already had a bath and in pj’s at only 3 pm. It was the best idea ever to do food shop this morning before I went to appointment because I knew by the end of the day I was going to be completely wiped out. I don’t know how many hours sleep I actually got because I woke up a few times. I don’t think I slept much giving how I feel now. I have taken the medication the consultant prescribed me. Apparently, it will take down my finger and other swelling I still have on my body. One thing I’ve proven though… I was never trying to manipulate anyone when I said stress in any situation affected me badly. This condition can be caused by stress. I can’t expect others to not cause me any stress because my skin might react and my joints might swell as a result. I’m really not a weak person, I don’t know why my body is reacting to stress. I’ve always been someone who just rolls from one situation to the next. I didn’t have a choice but to deal with the things that happened. I would have thought that would have made me more resilient. I can tally all my flare ups to stressful situations I’ve had going on in my life but I assumed it was just a coincidence. I had some form of stress from childhood so it’s not like I wasn’t used to it. That is just life growing up with dad’s illness and my school days being quite a challenge when I was undiagnosed. Then I was labelled and sent to somewhere that I only found stressful at first until I got used to it. I have always felt on edge my entire life. I had to constantly watch my back in the hospital and care home when I was young because some of the other clients could be violent sometimes. I never really felt damaged until after my son was sent for adoption. That may have been the final straw I suppose. I also got distressed over how others have treated me throughout my life. That was a stress which happened every so often. I was very stressed over what happened with someone else recently. That probably made my skin break out because it came up around the same time.

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