People are contradictory ok. Even me…

I have people around me who are neurodivergent… also I have those around me that are neurotypical. I’m in between both when it comes to where I sit as a person. I understand certain things that other neurodivergent people just can’t fathom. I see things increasingly from a neurotypical angle. Yes, I’m still bugged by things from a neurodivergent angle. I am letting stuff keep me awake. Others I know who are neurodivergent can’t understand why I’m letting something that happened between myself and someone who I didn’t even like at first affect me. It’s complicated and if they had a neurotypical piece to them then they would see why. It’s difficult to explain to black and white thinkers. I can see all those shades of grey which comes from slightly being on the spectrum. I think trauma releases a whole new levels of thinking because of things that happened. I don’t want things to stay the way they are but it’s not up to me. Once someone has made up their mind about you then whatever you say to them to change it won’t work. It has upset me enough to keep me awake at night recently since things were said. If someone is not willing there is no way of making things ok again. I’m probably very contradictory when I say to the neurodivergent’s that I know about how I feel. It is possible to like and dislike a person at the same time. That is how I feel but to them that doesn’t make sense. That is a neurotypical thing. It’s hard to switch sides as a neurodivergent. I can do it only because I am in the middle. Relationships are confusing. That is why I don’t really do them. It’s more stress which I don’t need. I have enough of my own baggage. I don’t want other peoples.