There is no real topic tonight, this is all just random thoughts from today.

I didn’t get up until later this afternoon because I was tired. I got a lot done when I finally got up. I have 26 certificates in total. I counted them while I had them out. I accidentally was flippant with my cousin when she said that I had achieved a lot in the last 13 years. I kind of made a remark about her having been married with kids and inferring that I didn’t think I had achieved much. I’m sorry but those of you who are married with children have no idea what a privilege that is in general. I wanted that but because I’m neurodivergent with trauma I can’t do that. It wouldn’t last even if I went there. Even if we were still married we would end up physically separated living apart. I also don’t want to be with someone like me (well, with similar labels) because I cannot relate to them because I’m too much right on the edge of what is classed as normal (also known as neurotypical). This country is also economically about to collapse. We will all want out of here at that point. I am not 100% sure of these rules but I think that I could get benefits for 6 months if I left this shithole. I haven’t checked for a while. Apparently, Dubai is the best place to go live if you have the money, not gay or don’t mind living in a dry (no alcohol) country. It’s also not a good idea to be a line woman out there because it is a country based on Islamic religion values. I don’t even have a passport which is valid, mine ran out two years ago. Dad renewed them for us just before his death. He wanted me to travel in the note that he left me. I lost it moving from one part of the country to the other. I never did. I have only been on a plane twice in my life to Spain and back when I was just a teenager. I don’t remember what it was like so the thought makes me anxious. As I said before, we don’t all have that path which is meant to be.

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