I fell asleep but then woke up. Uncomfortable :(

The cat woke me up an hour after I had fallen asleep. Then I was awake for a while because he’s been unsettled. I also have very scabby itchy skin so that has kept me awake. I feel uncomfortable and it makes me feel unattractive. I’m sure that no one wants to go near anyone with scabby bits of skin all across their back and down the sides of their arms. It looks like I have some kind of thing that might be catching. It isn’t but anyone who isn’t aware of my skin issues would assume that kind of thing. I even have an itchy scalp to the point I had to get up to plait my hair on the other side of my head to stop it itching so much. I haven’t picked up my antidepressants yet. I know that as soon as I start them again I’m undoing all the hard work I took to get off them this time last year. I don’t even want to think about the weight gain potential. I probably wouldn’t have lost weight in prison if it had just been them causing weight gain. I was on them at that time. I have lost all the bulkiness of my body and the excess water retention issues recently. I don’t want to undo all that hard work. Well, part of it wasn’t hard work because a lot of my water retention issues went away after my pile burst (sorry for too much information). I don’t know how that could have happened but it burst about a month ago and the water that used to build up around the lower half of me has reduced a lot. I don’t even get it in my ankles or feel puffy pockets in my lower back now. I am glad because it literally ached when it filled with water. Obviously my hormones always slightly does that every month but not like it was before the pile burst. I wouldn’t say the experience was pleasant. I thought that I had wet myself at first. I had to scrub the sofa because fluid from that area is not nice and even now I’ve cleaned it I’m sure there is a slight smell to it. If it had done that when I had been on my monthly then the pad would have caught a lot of the fluid. It was just random and something that isn’t predictable. They literally just do stuff like that without warning. The only thing I felt was slightly sore before it went. I had three of them since having my son ten years ago (11 in April), I only have one left so two probably went at the same time. I wish that they wouldn’t have caused so much mess. I’m hoping that the last one decides to go without so much mess because I don’t want that to happen again. I have to get my car seats cleaned because of my monthly going all over it. I got the mark out but it’s left water stains. The whole of my cars interior needs cleaning due to the endless drink spillages that have happened in there. Pepsi max/Diet Pepsi and other soft drinks are sticky and will attract stuff like wasps when it gets warmer. The carpets in my home also need cleaning because of years of cat messes. I do get them up but it’s full of marks at the moment.

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