Those that know me are vaguely aware of the work that I do in activism. I can never discuss things fully because the legal side is rather boring and sometimes confidential. As I said, I’m just Em in every day personal life who doesn’t talk about this side of things. It’s important to not be in work mode 24/7 (it’s still work even though it’s not paid) and I can only do certain things in small doses because of my ADHD type mind. I fully believe in my tactics rather than a mob mentality. I got qualified enough despite not being able to do the whole degree because it was too hard with the trauma that my sons adoption left on me. The open university has given me 4 more years (originally it was 6 but two years have already passed) to go back to do level 2, 3 and 4 modules to get the full degree. I can still do this work with just the level 1 certificate where I can use law cert. (Open) behind my name when signing documents. Mob mentality isn’t going to change the law. I have had to get involved with plans to kidnap peoples children, vandalise property and planned attacks on individuals involved in the system. There are some I have managed to stop by convincing the people carrying out certain things that an eye for an eye etc doesn’t make it right. It also doesn’t change the system, it just makes whoever is doing it out to be a thug, then there is no way that others are going to have sympathy for them losing their child/ren. I know how much it hurts. I say stuff in anger regularly because I hate the injustice of what happened to me. That is just words though, I’m not actively trying to destroy another persons life. The actions that I took where I traced what and how things came to be how they are today is much more useful in the long run. It’s not a process that will take a short time. The things could take years to actually change the laws so what is happening here stops happening. There is a lot of work involved. As I have previously said before, I am just one person and have to balance my time with having limited energy, short concentration span and be able to push my own anger aside to do what is required properly without my emotions messing it up. I know that many people are not convinced that mob mentality isn’t the way to go. The system is still going to be done the same way whether you attack someone on a personal level or whatever else. I know that my neutral stance can be very annoying to those that don’t believe in the stuff that I’m doing to long term change practices. I will NEVER take sides. I will always voice my opinion to both sides of a coin in whatever situation if I have concerns. That doesn’t make me a snitch if I know that someone in the system is going to be attacked by those that believe in the mob mentality way. I do what is morally right. I am a person who stands by certain values because they are what’s right not what is convenient to other people. The only way that the whole practice of forced adoptions will change is by the kind of work people like myself are doing (there are people who have actually qualified in law at degree level who can do more than the bottom level stuff). Please remain calm and do not resort to the behaviour above because it’s only going to make you feel better temporarily. You all know that I know first hand how much it cuts like a knife on a daily basis after this kind of stuff happens to you… doing stuff to those in the system will probably just get you a criminal record which isn’t going to make you feel better and when it comes to getting employment it will be difficult.
Anyway I have to go now because I’ve not eaten all day since I was catching up with much needed sleep, went for a walk (needed after eating over 2000 calories to balance stuff out after those two bad days). I have just got out of the bath.
Diary of a Painfully Shy Introvert Blog 