Late night thoughts: there is literally nothing for us.

I’m waiting for my cats to come back in so I have a bit of time to do a late nights thoughts post. The cat which is off to the vets in the morning for tests better not eat anything while he is outside because they said he isn’t allowed anything after midnight. He shouldn’t be hungry because I’ve not long fed them. I don’t know if I will sleep tonight but even if I do I have to be up by 6 am to get there by half 8 (maybe 7 am at the latest). Either way it will be 3 or 4 hours if I sleep soon. I got up twice this week having had no sleep. I don’t like doing that.

There’s a huge gap in the support system for many groups of service users but those of us that have had children removed by social services for adoption don’t have any support whatsoever. Even down to other people’s attitudes which are either indifferent to our experiences or assumptions that we somehow deserved it. Some of us that were in care either as a child or an adult (in my case due to disability) were discriminated against because there is more on our backgrounds within the system so easier ways to get evidence to remove our children. There should really be an official service that help us. The trauma associated with having a child removed and put up for adoption against your will is not something for generic mental health services who deal with straight forward depression and organic (rather than situational) mental illnesses. We should also be supported to ensure that we feel safe to have more children. That is why I’ve never done it again because I need to be confident that no one will walk into the hospital to take any other children that I may have. There needs to be partnerships and documentation to sign saying that the authorities have agreed not to take child when it’s born if someone is pregnant and has had a previous child removed for adoption etc. That documentation should be shown in court as a legally binding agreement if the local authorities try to get a court order after a baby is born. I know that nothing is fit for purpose at the moment but this kind of service hasn’t even been created. This is part of the prevention pathway to care that they’re currently trying to implement at the moment. I know there is lack of money but those of us that had babies / children removed and forcibly adopted literally have no resources or understanding / compassion from others due to the assumption that we must have deserved it. If there was a system that could work with us to make sure it doesn’t happen to us again by getting agreements like the one I mentioned above. There is absolutely no amount of counselling that can help because what happened to a percentage of us was pure unfairness / injustice. That isn’t something that a person can just get over. I know that it’s a huge idea for a very limited stretched social care system but long term we will end up living in a much better society. The prisons are full of ex care leavers (this also includes people who have been adopted) so that’s less crime (funding could be reduced in that area). Care leavers / Adoptees also have a high prevalence of mental illness. Therefore in the long run saving money in that part of the system too. It doesn’t have to stay the same. These proposals I’m suggesting could work, maybe not instantly but it would be much better in 5 to 10 years. I’m sure that no one with influence looks at my blog and if I make this a formal suggestion I will most likely be given the answer it will be too expensive and other excuses.

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