I’m putting my positives out there… for once.

I always go on about the bad experiences on here because that is normally what kind topics I cover. However, for one night only I’m going to put all the positives about me in this entry. I’m not the typical person you’d find on benefits. There is so much more to me than being disabled living off benefits (non uk readers, this is the equivalent to social security in the US etc). I’ve done a lot despite being traumatised by the bad stuff that happened. I may not seem smart in general because I’m quite naive but I can be intelligent… when I’m not hurt emotionally over stuff.

I passed my driving test aged 17, first time on the practical test (had to retake the theory because the first time I only needed two more points to pass). I left school with no qualifications (as I have mentioned here recently) but I did a few things as an adult. I passed level 1, 2 and 3 in that European computer driving license qualification stuff (back when it was quite a popular qualifications) – basically it was recognised computer admin course in all countries. I don’t know if that’s still the case after various countries decided to leave the European Union. I think it’s still recognised. That was way back in 2007 on day release from the psychiatric hospital I got sent to for a year.

Then I went to do a BTEC in media production: film & tv where I got the grade distinction and 2x merit. That was in 2008 to 2010 while I was living in the autistic adult care home down south. We were allowed to enrol in college etc. Then I had various short work experience placements in a charity shop and a week at the Cambridge evening news while I was living independently down south. Then I got pregnant and all that situation happened. I ended up back where I was born / grew up.

After my son went for adoption, I tried university but things went wrong because I was so traumatised. However, I then went back to do my GCSEs between 2016 to 2018. Some of those were free at a local college (as part of a pathway program) but two I had to pay for myself. At college I did English, Maths, Psychology and Sociology GCSE. I paid to do Biology IGCSE and Law GCSE via distance learning option. I failed maths so I had to go back to get to a level 2 maths which is equivalent to a GCSE grade C (most employers want that as a requirement). I got a C in English, C in Psychology and a B in Sociology. I got a C in Biology and a B in Law.

I self published a book, not my best work but it was just the beginning, when I was in my early twenties called ‘Tortured Soul: a female aspies story’. I ran an online website about autism and it was kind of a support group for most of my twenties. I then started the blog and the website kind of died a natural death with the rise of social media. I did random other things throughout the time I was living down south. There was charity fashion shows, karaoke but that kind of turned into singing at karaoke but I actually had people who came to hear me sing (they enjoyed getting drunk too but I couldn’t have been that terrible if they came to see me). Anyway, back to more recent times. I went to do a law degree via the open university. I found it too hard so I got my level 1 part of the course which still gives me law cert. (Open) behind my name and I could do legal admin because I’m qualified for that part. I got that in 2019 but then the pandemic and lockdown happened. I spent last year working on personal issues coming off antidepressants etc.

I have a credit score of 597 and manage my money quite well. I have a proportion of savings in a higher interest account which is fixed for a year. I then have a separate account where I have the other part of my savings which I am able to take out when I need money for unexpected expenses like the washing machine was a few days ago. I put money across into that account every month to make sure that I have enough for stuff that may need to be replaced or other unexpected costs. The easy access savings account has a variable interest rate which gets paid every three months (rate changes as interest rates do). That’s the list of positive things about me reeled off for my readers tonight.

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