I didn’t sleep but got up and did stuff.

I don’t think I barely had an hours sleep just before my alarm went off. I managed to get my hair washed this morning (doesn’t normally get done in the morning because I’m never normally up). I did some cleaning and put all the washing in that I had bagged up while I was waiting for a new washing machine. That is all done and drying. I’m going to be on the floor by mid evening due to not sleeping. I’m trying to type this with one of my cats sat on top of me. He can be a pain in the ass sometimes. I just want to chill out and have a break for a while after doing things. I haven’t posted any videos on TikTok yesterday due to being upset. I don’t want to be on camera at the moment or filming things. I probably will start posting videos again by tomorrow but then it might go a bit quiet toward 7th February due to the anniversary of my dad’s death. I was going to do a special video for that day but that was before I got the email that upset me yesterday. I’m heartbroken over that and obviously I’m grieving because of the date coming up. The video was basically going to be based on the trend that went around with videos of everything a loved one had missed since they had been gone. Then one of the other creators that does psychic readings posted a video during Christmas time with the scene from the lion king where Simba’s father passed away accompanied by the soundtrack lift me up by Rihanna. I put my account back to a personal one because I can now use all the songs again which they won’t allow with commercial accounts. I was going to incorporate those ideas above to create something for the anniversary of my dad’s death. I will probably be a lot less upset about the other thing by the time it gets to the actual date next week. I still don’t think it’s fair that I’ve been treated this way. I hadn’t even messaged said person on social media only their business email yet they blocked me on there. I swear that this isn’t just about what I actually said. It’s basically probably down to the gossip in this town. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else who works at the place hasn’t stirred it. That’s how it’s always been in this area. The percentage of what people refer to as snakes in this town is quite a high proportion. I’m not a snake but I’m a threat to those types so they will try to talk crap about me and convince others that I’m a bad person. I’m not but others will still try to say that. I don’t want to fight those type’s because they tend to try to make you out to be crazy. I’m not normal but I’m completely sane thank you. If people are gossiping and making this situation worse then please stop because I didn’t deserve what I got in my inbox yesterday. The day before I got told that I’m influencing young people not to do GCSEs until they are an adult. I hadn’t had that conversation, one of them who had told their parents they didn’t want to do them had read something on my blog about me going back to do them. I never promoted that idea. I would have done them at school if my circumstances had been different. I’m just being me. I have no hidden agenda. Others don’t need to treat me badly. I am 100% sure that one of the snakes in this town have been stirring up stuff between me and others. It makes no sense why someone seemed open to the idea of being friends or at least made out they would think about it and reach out when they were ready and has now flipped to not wanting communication at all. I’m honest about my past. I don’t have to be but I’m pretty sure others manipulate the details behind my back. I was wrongly labelled. I was just a scared youngster who communicated via the written word and got misunderstood. I never did anything to my son either. In both instances I was a victim of the system who didn’t understand my disability or trauma I was given due to how I was treated for said disability issues. That is the truth which needs to replace what might be circulating locally.

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