Dealing with other peoples behaviour.

I completely fell into one of those can’t stay awake any longer deep sleep earlier. I will have a really pissed off cat come back soon because I let her out before I fell asleep. I heard her come to the window a few times when I was half asleep. I have finally got my level 2 maths certificate after two years of it having disappeared. I want to gloss over this because I do not want to get into a whole back and forth thing on social media which upset me earlier already. I just want to make a few things clear. I can’t say too much otherwise I will have consequences from others around me. I don’t want to have to justify myself but I also want to be believed about being a victim that shouldn’t have been labelled negatively by the system. The things that happened in my past was not ok. They’ve impacted me for life. I was just a child who wanted love but instead I was singled out and labelled. Those labels got me treated really badly. I know that it doesn’t seem much to others but psychological distress is a real thing. People just see it as me being difficult and getting upset at others. That is just an outwardly thing. The feeling that I experience inside is like being emotionally ripped apart deeply. I shouldn’t have been put in certain positions which resulted in certain things happening. That wasn’t right. I never claim to have been perfect myself but the environment I’ve had around me especially during my earlier life (up until the age of about 30) was not right. I’m just wanting to be believed not indulged as someone put it earlier. Throwing stuff in my face that I did when I was psychologically distressed isn’t fair. I would never have got to that point if I hadn’t been put in certain situations. I have an idea who may have made the comments on social media earlier. If it was the said person. The stuff they did toward me as a younger vulnerable person was completely wrong. I reached out to that person and they just made fun of me and got an order against me. That was cruel. That is still on abuser level. I was a scared distressed youngster. I needed understanding and guidance not a dressing down and shamed. I’m still distressed sometimes but not that young nowadays. I obviously ask way too much when it comes to others not being cold toward me. There’s a difference between being cold and cruel though.

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