It would be easier if…

I literally haven’t slept all night again. The cat just used the litter tray which has now caused a horrible shit smell to go through the flat. I am very tired. I literally was awake all night because it’s 6 am now. It would be so much easier to just be dead. I have no ambition now. I don’t particularly have anything to look forward to in life. It’s just a hassle that I don’t need for years. I’m not happy and probably never will be. If I ended myself it would be a solution that would be practical. This reality is never really going to change. I feel really sick so I may not be putting words together right. I’m not that depressed but I’m very tired when it comes to life and the effort it takes just to live on a daily basis. I could just overdose myself and it would be so quick. I wouldn’t even know if I went to sleep while waiting for it to end me. I’m not suicidal but I’m too tired to live anymore without support which I’m never going to get after years of not getting it. I’m too tired to keep struggling. I need to go because I’m too tired to function most of the time when I just can’t sleep.

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