Depressed today… didn’t even get up.

I didn’t even get out of bed today yet (it’s nearly 6pm). I need to get up to do stuff but I’m not keen. I definitely need to wash my hair because it’s starting to feel dirty now. That feels like a huge task to think about right now. I know it doesn’t sound a lot to people with normal thickness hair which isn’t long. Mine isn’t that long but it’s got long enough to feel like a battle bending over the sink to wash even the mid length I have right now. I don’t want to cut it short because my hair is one of my best features but it isn’t when on the short side. I need to take off the attention from my awful face. I’m trying not to have hope about anything because I’m already depressed and disappointed. As I said last night, I’m firmly believe that I’m not a catch…if somebody ends up with me they pulled the short straw and was left with the bottom of individuals classed as defective. That is why I believe that others have made their minds up and won’t change them again. I’m too defective to be even be someone’s friend too. I have nothing to offer them. I can’t give anyone anything they haven’t already got.