I’m glad today is over. I’m so hard on myself.

I haven’t been up long but I’m still not back to normal after yesterdays migraine. I have tried to do various bits of the cleaning / tidying I had on my to do list this week but it’s now built up and I’m hating it. I have to do it to keep down the dust etc which stops my allergies kicking off. It has knocked me even more behind having to clean up the cat sick. I haven’t even managed to get round to washing my hair this week (that isn’t too bad because it still looks decent after the hairdressers last week). I know I shouldn’t feel bad about being unproductive when I had a migraine but I still do. I do the same when someone just doesn’t like me for whatever reason. I think I’m not good enough, not making an effort enough etc. I’m really hard on myself. Sometimes it’s about other people and their issues whether you can intuitively pick them up or not. I’m picking up random stuff continuously at the moment. I’m probably not right but if I am I’m not really wanting to know. I’m hoping that someone else decides to give me a chance in time as far as being friends even if it’s loose only meet up for a drink ever so often. Probably not alcoholic but they own a place so it will probably end up there. Last time I got someone to give me a chance it look over 2 years so I’m not expecting to get anywhere in a few months. I planted the seeds and that’s all I can do.

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