One of those nights again…

I’m still awake. It’s nearly 4 am. I feel really unwell due to monthly. Hormones are really annoying. I’m hopeful that this will only last a few days at the most. The emotional part passes quite quickly. I’m always easily angered leading up to it. I warn others not to argue with me two weeks before I start my monthly because they will not win. Then I’m tearful and emotional when it starts. Then I’m just indifferent after my hormones settle down. I’m very chilled out after the first few days. That is the best time to argue with me because I’m so willing to compromise. I feel tired but I still can’t sleep. I’m not even thinking about anything. I ban myself from doing that at night because then I don’t sleep at all. There’s no point thinking… just be. Life is going to do what it wants to do anyway so thinking about what if’s isn’t helpful to sleep in general. I don’t even let the actions of others bother me so much now because I just no longer care. There is no way of changing others. There’s no way that anyone else can change me. That is how it is. I have feelings in certain situations but they don’t matter to others. I’m sure that others have certain opinions about things that don’t matter to me. We aren’t all going to be on the same page. There’s no need to let that keep me awake. I did let that happen for a while but I still cared then. I don’t care anymore. I’m just restless tonight. I’m extremely tired but restless… it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

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