I’m just not ‘good enough’.

I act tough when I’m communicating with others but I’m really affected by others reactions of perceived rejection etc. I can’t hide it even if I make out it doesn’t bother me. I’m eating more now but I have to do that since I found out I was anemic. I still keep wondering what is wrong with me so much that everyone I seem to like doesn’t like me. It makes me feel sad. Even if I deserved rejection because of who I was in my past, I have changed now. I deserve love or at least to feel wanted. I’ve worked so hard toward that goal. People don’t even bother to look at the blog, let alone give me any attention. I don’t want attention. That is cheap. I would like to just be valued and to feel like I matter. It seems like I’m not ‘good enough’ to have either of those things.