I haven’t had a good day.

I forced myself to do the bare minimum today. Apparently you should have a rest day after a gym session so this will be mine. I only walked out to get the cat litter from the car earlier. I’m just about on my monthly so probably that is giving me depression. It’s 3 days late so it’s changed the dates again. I’m glad it decided to actually arrive because I’m extremely stressed about whether they are slowly stopping and even if the opportunity arises I won’t be able to have any more children. I’m not even actively looking for a romantic relationship etc but I don’t want that option taken away. I didn’t even feel like having a bath tonight. I have barely moved all day so I don’t really need a bath. It isn’t really good for my skin anyway because it dries it out. I had to have one last night because I had been the gym yesterday. I didn’t get up until really late because I was not up to being awake. I’m just fed up with everything right now. Things just seem stuck in all aspects of my life. People are just a constant disappointment and I have plans which involves a certain chain of events happening but right now they are being delayed. Mum’s age is starting to show now so I’m also trying to be in more than one place at once. I don’t know if it’s a permanent thing yet but I am already fearing the future about things I know is going to come at some point in the next decade. I don’t want to have to deal with certain things that I know is going to be not a choice.

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