On a personal level – I had to do this…

I split todays posts up because one was purely blog related and this is written on a more personal level. I did say that I was going to be more of a player this year to ensure that I didn’t get hurt. That is exactly what I’m sticking to doing. I don’t want to walk away from other people etc but I felt that I had to do that. I don’t like hanging where I don’t feel appreciated. I’ve given so much love out during my life that hasn’t been reciprocated… at times it has been plainly thrown back in my face etc. If I’m always going to be the kind of person to do that then others are going to continue to take me for granted, use me and generally treat me like nothing. They will always make me feel like I’m asking too much to just be friends. That will make me feel guilty for who I am and that my needs are ‘too much’. I have heard that when you finally meet the right person they will never act like you’re too much or push you away. I hope that is true. I like being a cold bitch character, I sleep much better. I spent so long being kept awake by others rejecting me. I will purposefully be talking to several people that have made me interested now. They will have to fight to make me want them. That is my new rules. If I am anything then prove it otherwise you’re not shit to me.