I’m quite tired so please be patient with the fact that this may not be very well written. I’ve just got into bed at half 11. I’ve done well to be up that long after the awful sleep I had last night. I kept myself busy and ate well. I also have started taking my multivitamins again. I’m hoping that they will help grow back the hair and eyelashes that I lost. The bits around my hairline are still quite brittle. I feel better for eating properly today. The scabby skin is starting to not be so bad.
I was involved in a few conversations that made me think today. The first one was someone that seemed to have read my comment about people getting diagnosed with autism as part of a trend started by people on platforms like TikTok. I never mentioned about self diagnosis being invalid. I merely commented that due to the official label I had received I was treated so badly. There was nothing I was trying to say otherwise reading between the lines. They basically informed me that they would not be entering any interactions with me via social network conversations because of the way that they had applied my comment to their narrative based on their own beliefs and opinions. I did a lot of work on trying to understand narratives and how to bridge the gaps between them during the year of 2020 when everything stopped. It gave me a chance to ‘catch up’ socially while everything had been paused. I then replied to a comment about adopters being selfless perception and this adoptee was told that they should be grateful etc. I basically just said that they just wanted to steal a child from the birth parents in a system that is corrupt against the most vulnerable. It got several people like it and it keeps getting likes. That got me thinking. There are many controversial books that are being released where people are airing narratives that differ from those that are widely held. Maybe I should release the post narrative in a book. I don’t know if it would sell but it’s a way of opening up a new narrative and making people question widely held beliefs. I’m still affected by the trauma that I went through at the hands of the system. It won’t be easy to write the book. I’m totally emotionally numb at the moment. I’m done with being nice to people and not reviewing anything in return. I just don’t care anymore. I’m not going to beg anyone to like me or see my worth. I’m done with all that crap. I’m totally ok with writing a controversial book that will probably get me a vast amount of hate. I don’t owe anyone anything after what humanity put me through growing up autistic. I don’t like the label but I was different and others could see that from the very beginning.