Woke up at a stupid hour. Also got a bit tearful at all the changes.

I have been woken up at 6 am every day for a few days. I don’t know why but it’s annoying because I couldn’t get back to sleep. I also got tearful this morning due to watching the London fireworks display from last night (I didn’t watch it live because I didn’t have tv on at that time) on TikTok. The bit where there was a tribute to the queen. I have now cried myself awake to the point I can’t get back to sleep for a few hours. It triggers me as an empath type person. The life that we have always known is literally being ripped from around us. It’s like everything has changed completely. She was a constant figure that just existed in the whole fabric of our reality for as long as many of us can remember. It’s not just the end of an era. Things feel like they’ve changed energetically around us. It just hasn’t felt the same recently. It feels like life as we knew it will never be the same ever again. It’s not just my age and that people are starting to see me in a different way now. That I have unknowingly become some sort of leader and voice of the things I’ve been through. I’m now seen as somewhat the words of wisdom producer but I don’t feel old enough to even be that yet. People seem to look up to me and I have no idea why. I went to hell and back but dealt with it all on my own because my family don’t do emotions. I have turned to others but they’ve walked away so I was left to deal with it alone. Anyway, I really need to clean my flat today but then there are spiritual people saying if I do that on New Year’s Day I’m washing away all my luck for the coming year. I really don’t want to do that. I knew about the not doing laundry on this day but didn’t think it included anything else. I thought that cleaning and throwing stuff out would get rid of any old stagnant energies that have built up in an environment.

%d bloggers like this: