Woke up early to do stuff.

I fell asleep before waking up to get trainers ready for collection. I hope it happens now because I arranged it over the phone and got no notification via email which is unusual. I’m hoping they don’t take all day to collect it because I’m tired. I can’t properly relax until it’s done. I will probably fall asleep for a few hours until normal alarm goes off because it’s ready to just pick up and give to whoever collects it. If it’s the normal parcel firm that collects it then it won’t be until mid day. They always deliver stuff in the afternoon, it’s never the morning. That will help me out because I really need more sleep. I should have gone bed earlier but I wasn’t tired because I had gone bed later in the afternoon. I think I have turned a corner. I no longer let people’s actions get into my inner peace. I have done recently but after a really bad reaction to the whole process of rejection… it’s preventing access to my inner peace now. I finally feel at peace in my own head. It literally took me getting to the point of distress to shut off anyone access to my head. There’s no way that anyone can destroy the peace in my head anymore. Even my memories aren’t doing that. As far as the other person is concerned, they seem to have gone a bit ghost on social media platforms etc recently so I presume that they have just gone off doing whatever with their new business etc. I probably won’t ever hear from them again. That does hurt but I’ve told them I’m basically walking away in a round about way. I even tried to show off by translating it into Greek from English. It may have sounded so wrongly put together but I made an effort. If you like and respect someone then you try to make an effort even if it completely falls flat on its face. I just won’t settle for less than I deserve even in friendships or situationships (as the current generation calls them now). I get random declarations of love from complete strangers quite often. I got one only this morning. I had never met the person even, they had read the blog only via social media. I am worth something and it’s about time that is realised by others.

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