I have realised exactly what I’m picking up now. This isn’t something others are going to win. I may be sensitive and take things to heart… however, I hate bullying mentality and I will not stand for it. I will retaliate like an ice queen regardless of my feelings. If others want to take the piss out of me behind my back they’ll end up destroyed and humiliated. That’s only what they tried to do to me. That will be even then. I genuinely am someone who cares but I won’t be treated nastily. As ever, I pulled cards to check a few things. This is basically being done because someone wants to be mean and emotionally manipulating… they think that I will keep lingering around so that they can emotionally play with my mind. F you, that won’t work. I don’t care enough about anything after everything I went through. I don’t know why it seems too much to be liked by another person without all the hate directed at me or manipulative tactics. I seem to get that with other females I get friendly with… like they just want to bitch me because of whatever it is about me. Chill out, I’m not pretty enough or intelligent enough to be a threat to any of you. I’m competitive but I’m not willing to be in competition with any other female. They can bitch about it all they want… the threat that I pose is merely in their head rather than based on reality. I have felt things for a few days and I’ve really tried to pick up more before saying anything. I won’t be humiliated. That is what I feel has been going on behind my back. Maybe my first instinct was right which told me to retaliate by destroying another persons business etc. I don’t want to play those tactics but if that is what I need to do then I shall have to do it. I don’t feel comfortable doing it but if people are indirectly doing stuff behind my back to humiliate me then why should I care? And all this stuff about rising above those that do things against us is absolutely rubbish. Those that say this line obviously doesn’t come from a small town where the vulnerable get eaten alive if they let themselves be ganged up on. The person who is leading this crap is from an island where this dynamic would probably happen too. People learn how to be bullies and they definitely are one. They may have met a quiet person initially who wouldn’t retaliate but now I’m not her anymore. I won’t take her bullying tactics behind my back.
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