I have a question…

I’m not sure how to explain this question but I’m sure one of my medium readers will know the answer for me. As I have explained previously I was always able to feel my dad around me and I had dreams for a long time after he passed away. Recently, I have stopped feeling him around me. I haven’t had dreams with him in for a few years. It feels like he has just disappeared. He passed away 12 years ago, it will be the 13th anniversary of his death on 7th February in a few months. I didn’t expect him to hang around forever because I know there is a process but he didn’t even say goodbye, as far as I can remember from every dream I had. If he thinks I don’t need him, that I have it all handled now, he’s very much mistaken. I don’t have anything handled. I’m still winging it, albeit with a bit more maturity, just as I did when I was younger. I’m going to try to nap for a while now that the dog has stopped barking upstairs so that I’m not so tired for todays Christmas arrangements. I’m definitely not looking forward to today. That isn’t against anyone. I just don’t really want to do Christmas this year and it’s already starting to feel like a struggle. I’m hoping it doesn’t so much after a nap. I don’t want to think that dad has now left me completely in spirit. I’m not all grown up yet. I don’t want to be selfish because I know that spirits have to move on after a certain time but why now? I’m not ready for it to be now. I’ve only just started stepping out as the person that I truly am. I came off my antidepressants and I may not always be in a good place but I try to exist in a place where I am settled most of the time. That doesn’t mean that now is the time for him to transition though. Maybe he’s with my son guiding him back to me as he gets nearer to 18. All I know is that he’s no longer with me. I would just like to know the answer.