I can’t even get out of bed today.

I don’t normally get depressed this badly. The neighbours dog won’t stop barking which isn’t helping. I just want some peace. I still have a headache behind my eye and any noise really grates my head. I normally at least feel like having a bath and changing into fresh pjs even if I don’t change into day clothes. I know there is no rule to say that you must have a bath every single day. I feel abandoned by everyone because they all just ignore me. Others always go on about preventing suicide but in reality they don’t do anything to prevent people from feeling that is their only option. I’m too tired emotionally. I need a break. I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want to get away from the same daily routine. I hate it with a passion. I want more. I work hard in life but having autism puts limitations on that side. I’m very aware that one of the richest men in the world has Asperger’s (Elon musk) but his mind is extremely technical whereas mine isn’t. It manifests in people differently and he probably didn’t have depression etc. I could improve my life if I had money. It wouldn’t fix everything but it would help. I have never been money focused. I absolutely despise the thought of people who have massive amounts of money that they don’t actually need (the UK prime minister) and keep creaming off profits from things that they own and invest in. The whole point of the money system was so that people had enough to live comfortably… not hoard masses amounts of excess while other people starve etc. The focus has been totally lost by those that have masses amounts of money. I would be happy enough to have enough to buy a home, decent car (not a highly flashy one but not the fiat 500 I have now) and be able to live comfortably. I could go on holiday for a while because I would have that spare cash but I wouldn’t be dripping in excess money I didn’t need. I would literally set up a charity pot for that excess and give it out as grants for people who are trapped in poverty cycles. I probably wouldn’t think like that unless I’d had the life I currently have because those with huge amounts of riches and status can’t see it from our perspective. Those types should not be running the country because their wealthy mindsets will never make the right decisions for normal everyday people or those who have to rely on benefits due to disability.

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