Well today didn’t end up a rest day.

I was in bed most of the day because I was attempting to rest. That ended up a mistake. I woke up with my monthly all over me. I’m not going into details but I should have got up out of bed way before I woke up properly. It basically decided to kick off big time when I was asleep. I had to strip everything and shove it in the wash. It even went onto the electric blanket and through to the mattress so I had to scrub that and try to dry it in a few hours (well hopefully, with electric blanket on). I haven’t been out for a walk in three days now. I definitely can’t do that today. I still have a very swollen knee that doesn’t seem to want to go down and I don’t want to go far like this because it will be embarrassing. I’m so fed up with this same bullshit every single month. I have been back and forward to the GP for years and no answers can be found. The only thing me and a friend came up with was the fact that my brain causes it after trauma and any kind of emotional stress. These things aren’t something that people openly talk about so you literally can only find out similar cases that appear in the news etc. There was one girl who had this happen to her who had a diagnosis of autism. She had been bullied before her monthlies went this way. Unfortunately, in that case, the girl was put on the pill which worked for that part of things but she got a blood clot and died (it’s a common side effect of that medication). I was offered it by one of the male doctors at my GP surgery. I said no to it because to me that is masking a wider issue which in the long term isn’t a good idea. Other women without that diagnosis have had the same thing happen to them when they’ve gone through psychological distress. I only saw a petition online the other day trying to get the NHS to do more for woman’s health in this department because in comparison to the other parts of health this area is quite in the dark ages. It was only by chance that I saw it on my TikTok fyp page. Apparently, they are a well known campaigner in that area. I signed it because I’m sick of having tests that come back with nothing and just being offered the pill as a solution. They’ve never bothered to check hormone levels etc, they simply look into one area and that is it. There is a whole system that controls monthlies, not just the physical structures. Things like endometriosis… causes growths of lining in other areas of a persons body. How do I know I haven’t got that lining growing in my knee and finger? It’s weird how it’s popped up around the same time of my cycle. They make the excuse that hormones fluctuate constantly so they don’t think it’s a viable option to check them at any point. The only way I managed to lose all the weight I did was from my own research on hormones. I have no official qualification, I simply used my logical brain to find out what levels needed to be reduced in order to get my weight back down. It’s a whole complex system of finding out what foods will spike what hormones etc. I still eat those foods but less because I know eating over a certain amount of that food will take my weight back up. I still drink alcohol in a more controlled way but that is also about trying to stay away from the hormones that contains. I could have dropped a lot more weight quicker if I had quit alcohol all together. There is simply no need to completely give up certain things, especially if it makes stuff in life easier. People don’t want me quitting something that makes me more chilled… believe me. Would you like me to be ten times worse on the fortnight leading up to my monthly every month? Well, we both know that I cannot quit alcohol. That is how I know my hormones go all over the place. Since I started my monthlies back at 10 years old, I have always ended up getting in trouble around that part of my cycle leading up to coming on. I will end up naturally wanting to fight anyone around me. The littlest thing can blow up in to a massive argument and irreversible decisions get made, friendships / relationships got ended. It doesn’t stop when you become aware of it. That is why I signed the petition because living that way is no way to live. It’s full of pain for you and everyone around you. I don’t want to be left to suffer any longer. I’m sure that I’m one of many women because I’ve heard other cases but we all don’t want to live suffering this way. We can only do so much ourselves. The problem can only be properly fixed by research in the particular area which will find the solutions so that these issues can be managed even if they cannot be properly ever cured.

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